Writer Who Can’t Find the Words (original poem)

I hate how I claim to be a writer
but can never accurately put
into words how this emptiness
inside me feels – More and more
I wish I could express it with my
body – I want to growl deep in
my throat like an alligator, snap my
jaws and writhe on the ground in
anger – I want to grow a tail and gills,
escape into the ever-changing waves
and the soothing darkness of the deep,
befriend the shark with the most scars
and praise it daily so it feels like a god –
I want to grow wings and fly to
the most deserted mountain top
and scream so loud the world
will hear its echo – This loneliness
is feral, with teeth and claws
biting and pawing at my insides
to be set free – Sometimes I feel like
I never knew how to be human
but the truth is that I have never
liked the type of human I am –
This desperate, aching, ravenous
beast