What is it Called? (original poem)

What is it called when you like pain?
When the sting of it on your skin
is a relief. When you can point to it
and say this is where it hurts.
When you can look at the mark
it left on you and understand
where it came from.

What is it called when you bruise easily?
When every touch makes your heart
softer, more pliable, more likely to
be punctured and ruptured by a single
word or even the absence of them.

What is it called when you feel like
you are drowning on dry land?
When your breaths are hiccups
that don’t make it to your lungs.
When they fill instead with the
blood from your overflowing heart.

What is it called when you believe in
a higher power but can’t name it?
When you don’t feel in control of
your own life so you can only hope
something out there will guide you
into an existence that makes sense.